Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He kissed a someone with a penis
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize