Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm at about main and main street
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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