she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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