last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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