whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
