and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
