I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
