the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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