I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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