he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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