If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
40s are totally the cure
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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