haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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