still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
