the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
They have beer where we have blood.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
