I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
