we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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