Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
True strength comes from lack of pants
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
