what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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