i love accidental penises.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
