so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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