so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
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Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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