Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize