i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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