the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize