For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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