She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
