She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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