Don't you send me to vm
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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