He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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