i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
