Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
