Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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