real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
