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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
