just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
