there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
