I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
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Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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