that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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