Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
