Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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