my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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