I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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