I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
