i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
