what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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