I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They took my balls.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
