I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
