it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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