alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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