Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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