my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So I just went to clothing optional bar
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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