i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
