It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
