Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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