During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
